steadfast

These past few days i have been going through my ever familiar ‘unthankful’ days. In the first instance i have been out of a long term relationship for more than a year now and really (obviously) asked God why I had to be in something that left me with so much hurt despite the fact that i really prayed about going into that relationship. I remember last year this time, just before i started my blog how painful it was and actually if i look back He really pulled me through some bad days. But one can never really see that in the unthankful days. I obviously questioned everything once again in this week, and wondered how a God that is said to be the personification of love itself, allow people to hurt so much. It didn’t seem very caring to me...



Then in stillness i really felt an answer to my stubborn angry heart. We live on this broken earth. That’s the fact. Earth is broken but filled with beautiful pieces of God all around, for us to get glimpses of who our creator is. There are loads to be thankful for, we need to start focusing on that, because there will always be broken pieces to take our joy. Then second, our mind will not ever be able to fathom or explain why pain happens. Yes, there are the old familiar clichés of how pain makes you stronger and helps with endurance. Sometimes i don’t want to hear that. It is too proverbial, and the impact becomes lifeless.


I felt the peace in knowing that I will always have the choice to meditate on the brokenness of this world and ask: ‘why is God allowing it’...because that brokenness will always be there. Or i can focus on who my God is, and know The LORD is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.... not able to sin. He forgives with open arms... then my questions become relatively frivolous...

After that i listed to Diane Brich.