bitter sweet

Today is not the most pleasant day. But i always feel it helps to write about it. A few minutes back we found out that my Grandfather had passed away. He had been pretty sick this week but i don’t think anyone thought that it would happen so fast. I have ever seen my dad cry before. He and my grandfather were very close. I saw and heard it today. Yesterday afternoon my mom and I went to visit my Grandad in die hospital and i had the opportunity to say goodbye to him we prayed with him and he just held my hand for a long time. Somehow i felt peace while sitting there.

Life is so fragile. We spend it building up pillars of salt and in the end what do we have left to show. I felt so enriched in this whole situation, in knowing that the Lord Jesus still holds life and death in His hand. We cannot understand it. It might sound ignorant and cliché to use the term ‘we cannot understand’, but i believe it fully. Our mind being a powerful entity does not possess the ability to fathom why death occurs.And although we try to delay and avoid it, the reality is it happens. But my peace is in the fact that i am rooted it something that allows me to deal with it. It does not come from myself but from another Source.

So i realized i have the opportunity now to remember the bad of what happened in this week... his degradation and pain. Or i can focus on how loved he was; how his family adored him, what a remarkable person he had been and a full life he had lived. His genes still run through me and will always be a part of me. I also know Christ Jesus is good, He is faithful (although i don’t understand most of what happens and why).I will remember He is Love. He possesses the word LOVE. I know that. So although i get mad and ask why this had to happen now, why He couldn’t have waited until my Grandpa could see my sister’s baby getting born or me getting married... i know He is in control. I know i will see Oupa again.

I get a peace.